My Plans..My Determination.

There's a lot of things that has been Disturbing my mind..first, Money..second, plans for the holidays and third is relationship..

It's been a long time that I keep this freaking feeling inside me..there's a lot I gotta say but I'm not really sure where to start..well, my semester break is up and I'm gonna be sitting at home doing nothing for two months.......or maybe not. I'd probably go somewhere to do something and make new experience for myself..but I don't know what it is..since the day I got home, I've been living in a world of boredom and I planned to go and look for a job but I guess that'll have to wait because I'm too lazy..actually I do have something that I must do in this holiday and I gotta finish it as soon as possible..the problem is, I'm a little short of money..I gotta buy something for a friend and I still don't know what it is yet..plus, my parents' anniversary is coming up too so I gotta buy them a present too..I got the car to drive, I got the will to buy but I don't have enough money to buy them something..and it's too late for me to find work now for money..I gotta think of something..oh well, I'll come up with a solution eventually..right now I'm just blurrr..

I hate when it comes to relationship's aftermath..well, I got this problem with a good friend of mine and we started fighting and arguing about a certain topic that I didn't expected to be discussing with..cause' I don't know about it at all til' she told me the real thing and it's easy to say that I became the victim in this tragedy and my friend here, well we've known each other for a very long time and we've been looking out for each other ever since till the day that we started fighting..my friend was very angry at me cause' I let this happen and did not realize that I was being used by someone..Am I that blur? I don't know..but yeah, I know that my friend was just worried about me and I can't blame her for being angry at me..I deserve it for my stupidity..

But never once I thought that we would lost contact from each other for a long period of time..and then I got very worried cause I really can't lose this relationship..I wanted to see her to make things right again but I haven't got the chance yet..So I wait and wait till this very day and hope that my friend would still open her heart and forgive my mistake..I plan on visiting her soon just to tell her this:

" I really don't know what's going on with you right now but I really wish I could know cause you're my friend..and I want you to be completely honest with me..tell me what am I to you? Am I important as I think I am to you? Cause' you're sure as hell are damn important to me. We've been through together a lot and we have come this far together..I can't imagine what my life would be If I didn't had met you at all in my life cause you have been helping me get through many things in life and I thank God I did met you..is this fate? Is this chance? Who knows but I believe it is..whatever it is I apologize to you for making you mad, my friend and if I can go back time, I would change it all back to be better and make you smile everyday..you don't what it's like to be me..to feel so blessed to know a friend like you..very few people experience and have this kind of relationship in life and I am very grateful that I am one of them..My friend, I have lost so many things in life..just promise me that I won't lose you too..so please..can we turn this back to normal again? Remember that I'll be there when you need me..you just gotta tell me so that I could know..don't keep your problems to yourself..share it with me and I'll do what I can to help you get through life just like you helped mine..just so you know that this is my confession to you."

Yours Sincerely, Amir

"You Meant The World To Me"